Vacation 2012 (Part 1 of 4)

LB= trooper.  Gone are the days of stopping every hour to take a break.  Hello to the days of traveling w/ Portable DVD players and an infinite supply of food (Goldfish and Fried Fruit mostly) and beverage (M-I-L-K).  Bottom Line- 1000 miles in 2 days, with 3 total breaks, one of which was the hotel /sleeping quarters in Covington, LA.  Side note- Homewood suites by Hilton- very functional for families. Anyways- while we can celebrate the ease of planning trips without the consideration of a school calendar, any benefit claims would be offset by the added payload of packing for a toddler.  Holy cow.  Is that my trunk?  I thought I only packed a backpack.  Really?  Really.  

As for the vacation…Everything previously mentioned about Rosemary 2011 still applies today.  Leighton still loves the water and the added attention.  The weather did not factor into the vacation at all…Except when we committed our most significant parenting error to date (adult sun block lotion should not be applied to a baby face.  Babies rub their face and eyes- it’s inevitable.  And lotion stings)

For me, the true pleasure was seeing LB relate/play with other kids, specifically Anna and Riley.  Todd/Megs- thanks for renting us your little girls for the entire vacation.  Don’t know it would have been as enjoyable without seeing a perfectly stacked JENGA board terrorized by a 20 month old every day.      

Who is king of the world?

I am!  With my pretend phone, my powers are limitless!  

Perhaps the biggest shift in power surprise to me (given my beautiful bride’s commitment to home interior design) is the new door and window treatments.  Every time I find myself bird watching from the breakfast table, I can’t help but notice the recent addition of stickers to every single window.  Except this isn’t your normal ADT or “Save my Pet” warning…Not at all…Instead our windows and doors represent a strong affiliation to our Disney family.  Criticize all you want, but I think LB is on to something.  In a time where your personal standards are often illustrated in signs for a political candidate, religious leader, etc., why not stick out your neck out for a Mickey Mouse or Talking Car?  What is wrong with being an advocate for Fun…and Sharing…and climbing magical beanstalks?   

Cruising…For Bananas

It is our first Father/Daughter tradition.  Every Saturday morning, we wake up around 7am and eat breakfast together (coffee and chewable vitamin’s for me, whole wheat pancakes for LB).   Lux never misses our meal; she is stationed directly below the feeding table eagerly waiting for the next morsel to be dropped or intentionally tossed.  On Saturday’s we let Ashley sleep that extra hour to recharge her Mommy batteries.  After breakfast, we tiptoe out of the house and load up the SUV and head for McDonalds for Brunch (Please hold the criticism, I get it).  Why McDonalds though?  Because they have the most amazing Cinnamon Rolls and LB and I love to share one.  We never grub in the dining room; too much distraction.  Rather, I hop in the back seat and we go to town.  One bite for LB, two bites for Dad.  Wash it down w/ some 1% milk and you have a delicious and non-nutritious meal.  Yum.

 

20 minutes later, we arrive.  Central Market, San Antonio.  The place is Whole Foods on steroids.  The difference is more variety, better service and cheaper.  Every visit starts with a green balloon.  Kids love balloons and LB is no different.  I tie the balloon to the cart so she can always find her happy place.  We start in produce, taking our time to point out every known and pronounceable fruit.  LB will attempt just about anything and she has all the majors down.  I used to put all the food in her hands to help accelerate the learning, but Central Market management did not appreciate this all too much (I always thought you had to lick the object to make the purchase official?).  Anyways, this game makes our shopping cart one of the more popular carts in the market.  The 70-90 year old women eat this up.  They try and join in only to find themselves victims of an occasional grape to the eye.  I keep telling LB that if she continues to assault older people that I will post a sign on her cart that says “beware of baby!” 

By the time we finish our shopping adventure, LB will have consumed several free samples (sometimes we get seconds depending upon temperament), and at least two packets of Ella’s Kitchen (see prior post).  Me, when I am really lucky I clean out my pockets at home and find invites to the local retirement community Bingo night.  Score. 

Planking

Planking (or the Lying Down Game) is an activity consisting of lying down in an unusual or incongruous location. Having a photograph taken of the participant and posted on the Internet is an integral part of the game.

Players compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play.  The term planking refers to mimicking a wooden plank.  Since early 2011, many participants in planking have photographed the activity in unusual locations. Planking can include lying flat on a flat surface, or holding the body flat while it's supported in only some regions, with other parts of the body suspended.

Toddler?

Me- Hey, When does LB will become a toddler?
Ash- She has been a toddler for some time.
Me- Hmmm. Doesn't she have to poop in a toilet to be a toddler?
Ash- What? A toddler is an age range. Starting at one. What did you think?
Me- I thought it was achievement based. A tiered model of some sort.
Ash- What accomplishments did you have in mind?
Me- Heck there should be categories. Motor skills, vocabulary, hygiene, and feeding habits. I am amazed that there isn't an app for this already. Think of a reward system for kids to build their skill and fuel their ambition.
Me- I mean a little motivation never hurt. I always loved treasure hunts. Well maybe that was because of Goonies. The Truffle shuffle and Baby Ruth-Gets me every time. But really. The reward at the end makes you try harder.
Ash- I think lb is already overachieving. And she spirited. You should be happy.
Me- Happy yes. But imagine the possibilities if lb knew there was a water sprinkler or teddy bear at the end of every complete sentence.
Ash- Or successful tooth brushing.
Me- (Thinking...)
Me- (Running into the playroom and bringing back the mini piano). Playing -Dee dee doo doo de. . Bomp. De doo de doo de Deedley de do.
Ash- What is that?
Me- Doogie howser theme song. Doogie howser. That six year old aced his SATs. We've got work to do.

Hours later…
Ash- LB is eating a crayon.
Me- Do you know how the Egyptians built the pyramids. Brick by Brick babe. Brick by brick.

Minefield

Sometimes you are too tired. Sometimes you forget. Sometimes you say you are going to clean up but you never do. Sometimes you restore it back to original condition only to see it look like Middle East warzones moments later. Sometimes you feel bold enough to teach the art of cleaning up. Lately, it feels better to shrug your shoulders and say “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” Poor Ashley. You just can’t teach cleanliness to an 18 month old who pees on the floor and laughs.

Uh oh.

You are cruising the aisles of Costco. Wondering about that first turn into the wine section. You want to conserve your energy (budget) even though it is easy to lose yourself in the Costco vineyards- and even easier to get into tied up in the immortal battle of reds versus whites. On this particular day we had LB guiding the chariot. And like any feisty jockey she was fired up. She has seen what can come from this store. In the past, it has delivered cases of milk, bags of her favorite fruit and a teddy bear bigger than mom. These purchases are handled in fluid motions, almost as if every item was part of a shopping list. Any break in the motion could cause a systematic breakdown in the shopping experience and a 300% increase to the purchase total.

Well this past Sunday, San Antonio brought out some first time Costco shoppers. Several people unfamiliar with the track and even more foreign to the cadence. So you can guess what happened next. The lead chariot veered off track coming out of the wine section. And our little LB persisted on her current path which caused our chariot to clip the lead horse's hoof. And that horse was not happy. Despite the several apologies and ouches, it took a perfectly timed "uh oh" from Lb to break the tension. To which I replied- uh oh is right. Unfortunately, no one else found this to be amusing. We barreled through the rest of the store in record time. Hoping and praying not to cross paths with the personality plus horse. I didn't even stop for my 1.50 hot dog and soda. Which is the cornerstone of any good weekend. I will never forget this day, the first occasion that my own kid had to get me out of trouble. This truly is the start of something wonderful.

Picture above was taken right before an uh oh moment.