The belly rules the mind

This quote comes from Spanish proverb. I wonder if the Spaniards had an Ashley in the picture when they recorded this on their piece of papyrus. I was thinking about carving my own proverb into the local sidewalk. Perhaps something like “An empty belly on a pregnant girl is doom” or maybe “ye be warned when dinner is not ready by 7”. Ok, so the last one sounded like a quote from Goonies, but the warning is real unlike the treasure of one-eyed Willy.

To complete this vision, I want to tell you a tale of hunger. It starts with a cheerful husband and pregnant wife. The time of this short story- 7:04pm. Setting- our home. The dialogue- in not so many words:

Wife- I am hungry
Husband- Let me start cooking
Wife- OK, as long as you don’t talk, watch TV, or breathe before you start. I want to enjoy a nice meal at the dinner table. Now would be a great time.
Husband- Lets grill some hamburgers
Wife- Lets stop talking and start eating
Husband- (15 minutes later)- Burgers didn’t work out (accidently burnt), lets try some grilled chicken sandwiches
Wife- Are they instant chicken sandwiches?
Husband- No, they require preparation.
Wife- A female Praying Mantis will bite the head off of her mate after sex. Imagine what happens when she is hungry.
Husband- Pass the spatula.

Going Out

What used to be a cornerstone of the Golia Household is now an area of contention. I don’t think it is the act of getting into the automobile that causes the controversy. Nor do I attribute the problems to our choice of company. I think it starts with the beverage selection. Take last night for example. Great party, good friends, and a cooler full of suds. The first exchanges of the evening sounded something like this-

Ashley- Honey, will you grab me a drink?
Dave- (Looking down at cooler filled of Miller, Coors, et al)- You have a couple choices sweetie- Vitamin D enriched Pineapple Juice, Organic Vegetable Juice or a passion fruit smoothie.
Ashley- Wow, this party is so pregnancy friendly.
Dave- (holding a smile) - Yeah, but I would recommend a Poland Spring, on the rocks.
Ashley- You are terrible.

Well, we eventually got past the limited beverage selection (landed on a Sprite/Cranberry mix) and then we entered what I call the “are you ready” time zone. Typically this comes around 1 to 2am or when the fridge empties (whatever comes first). Lately, this time has left late night TV and is now competing with Wheel of Fortune. To better illustrate this time, I captured an exchange occurring last night-

Ashley – (not saying anything, executes a perfect “are you ready” look at 8:45pm)
Dave- (acknowledging the look, glances at watch and executes a “it is still Miller time” smile)
Ashley- (looks at the Dave’s bottle, glances at bottom and looks back up to Dave)
Dave- (realizes that he is enjoying his final beer of the night, quickly grabs a bottle of whisky, pours shots and toasts to the birthday boy)
Ashley- (realizing that her look needs to be changed to include all beverages)- Happy Birthday, we are leaving.

Thank you

To our friends and family, your generosity was very much appreciated. LB is lucky to have you all in her life. And thank you for taking care of our dear Ashweeee in Atlanta!

Because of your thoughtfulness-
LB has a full closet of clothes that rivals her Mom's collection.
Gladys will watch over LB’s every move.
Toys, Toys, Toys!
Books, Books, Books! - Everything from “the giving tree” to “where’s the poop?”

And to our parents…A very special thanks for the love you have shared.
P.S. I couldn't help but notice the Atlanta Braves outfit. Evidently someone has a sense of humor.

Now on the platform...

We have LB. She will be attempting a forward 2 1/2 in the pike position. Degree of difficulty, 2.1.
And based on the pictures above, the judges have made the following assessment:

Approach (not shown) - LB stood in the starting position on the front end of the board. Body was straight, head was erect (particularly amazing given the lack of muscle tone), and heels together just like Dorthy as she prayed "there is no place like home".

Take-off (also not shown) - The hurdle to the end of the board, flawless. Both baby feet hit the end of the board simultaneously; the take-off showed no fear.

Execution - In the passage through the air, LB exhibited a perfect closed pike position through the somersaults (see second image).

Entry- Vertical. But not before giving a wink to the crowd.
Judges Score- 9.7