Sunday's with Dad

LB- Wahhhhhhhhh! Waa Waaa Waaaaah! (Translation - Where is Mom?)
Dave- Are you hungry? Here, have some bacon.
LB- Ahhh ummmmm! (Translation - What an exciting new flavor, you aren't so bad)
Dave- Are you thirsty? Milk or Corona?
LB- Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah! (Translation - I make noise and I get treated to new things: sucker!)
Dave- Are you bored? Let’s watch the Wonder Pets. There’s Winnie, Tuck and Ming Ming too! We are the Wonder Pet’s and we’ll help you. What’s gonna work- Teamwork! What’s gonna work – Teamwork!
LB (after 15 minutes of silence)- Eh! (Translation- this is too easy)
Dave- Do you want to watch football? How about the Eagles?
Dave (15 minutes into the game)- Wah Wah Wah Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (Translation- When does baseball start?)

Ding Dong- You're Wrong!

The most underrated Christmas Special of all time. Can’t you see the gang parading through the streets? And Bob with his masterful sign language singing a song with his hands…

I believe in miracles and I can tell you why
Once a year the street I live on sparkles like the sky
All hung with lights for Christmas
Twinkling everywhere
The world turns bright for Christmas
And if that isn't a true blue miracle
I don't know what one is

Bert and his uni-brow. Snuffy squishing into those oil barrels pretending he is Santa. The rubber ducky. The paper clip collection. And Mr. Hooper coming through in the end. Man that Mr. Hooper was a class act. Whatever happened to the neighborhood general store? I don’t see Walmart on Sesame Street.

The music, the characters, the story… timeless. And completely relevant over 30 years later.

Dear Santa

My name is Leighton Belle and I heard you love milk. Me too.
Someone also told me you know when I have been naughty or nice.
Just in case you haven’t been watching, I would like to share some of my stories.
I can walk. And if you were standing here, I would walk right into your arms.
I can talk. When I can’t find the words, I will laugh at you. Because your beard is funny. And you look like my someone in my family.
I can sing. American Idol…if only there wasn’t a minimum age.
I guess I should tell you that me and the vegetables are not friends. They are always on my plate even though I yell at them. Please do not hold that against me.

My Pillow

Too good not to share.

Thanksgiving 2011

Things that I am thankful for-

My Mom. Always there for me, even when I scream at her and throw carrots on a recently mopped floor.
My Lux. Always there to clean up my mess.
My Dad. He wakes up before I do most of the time. And he likes to sneak me cups of milk when Mom isn’t watching.
My Toys, especially Elmo. The Hokey Pokey, that’s what it’s all about.
My Breakfast. Blueberry, Buckwheat Berry pancakes- doesn’t matter. Yogurt- mine as well be ice cream.
My Watermelon. Always in season in Texas.
My Gymboree. There are bubbles way up high, way up high. There are bubbles way up high, way up high. There are bubbles way up high. There are bubbles in the sky. There are bubbles way up high, way up high.
My Big Teddy Bear. If I was Lawrence Taylor, the Bear is Joe Theismann. I bring the house.
My big family. Time for more sleepovers.

Party Planning

(4/10/2011)
Ashley – We should start thinking about a theme for LB’s birthday party.
Dave – According to the Warren Commission, Lee Harvey hatched a brilliant plan in a similar time frame.

(6/10/2011)
Ashley- Did you think of any idea’s for LB’s 1st birthday?
Dave- How about a piñata?

(8/10/2011)
Ashley- How about a lollipop themed party?
Dave- They put lollipops in piñatas.

(9/10/2011)
Ashley- I need your list for the party.
Dave- Which party? The How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop party?

(9/11/2011)
Ashley- Invitations are ready, just need a list.
Dave- When I was young, we invited the neighborhood.
Ashley- Stick to the people that know her best.
Dave- The cut list should include only those that she pooped on.

(10/28/2011)
300 lollipops, 30 cupcakes, 4 trips to Hobby Lobby, 3 Amazon order and 1 spare tire later…See picture.
LB is 1!

Back to the Future

I was watching a World Series match up featuring two teams that I do not care to mention. In the middle of the broadcast, the cameras panned to a digital board that compared prices of bread, gasoline, homes and academy award winners of 1963 to 2011. I always love it when these statistics pop up. And if my Dad were in the room sitting next to me, I would look over at him and say “really?” Well this blast to the past got me thinking…How does DG 2011 compare to DG 2001? We can save that discussion for our next couch session with Dr. Phil. Instead, let’s tackle LB 2011 vs. LB 2010.

Diagnostic
LB 2010 - 18", 6lbs
LB 2011 - 30", 20lbs. She is 50% percentile for weight, 85% for height.

Subjective
LB 2010 - Mom's Music, Mom's Hugs and Kisses
LB 2011 - Dad's Music, Mom's Hugs and Kisses

Objective
LB 2010 - Clean Diapers, Soft Nipples and warm blankets
LB 2011 - Baths, Dog Tails, Racquetballs and the video below.

The Shore

The annual trip to the Ocean City, NJ. Have to say, it consistently ranks at the top of our list of places to visit. Yes, there are the obvious reasons (family, Mack and Manco Pizza, etc.) …But this time, it was different. It was LB’s turn to taste the salt air and splash in the hurricane charged waves. Looking back on the weekend, I can say that I was nervous at first; worrying that she wouldn’t enjoy the beach as much as I do. Well surprise, surprise- the beach gene was successfully inherited!

Whether it was showing off in her new pool (picture above), or parading down the beach in her bikini, she took to the sand and sun like C.J Parker à la Baywatch (please note- this will be the first and last comparison to Pam Anderson). Anyway, the highlight of the beach visits had to be the ocean swims. 70 degree water - no problem. Rip tide- felt like a ripple to LB. If not for naptime and mealtime, our little tadpole would have splashed till the life guards blew the whistle for excessive celebration.

Throw in a ballgame (Gload walk-off), a Philly Fanatic pillow (thanks Yvonne) and a 1 year birthday celebration; you have the makings of not only a great trip for Mom and Dad, but some terrific memories for our liberty Belle.

Traveling

To start, let’s recall those points I made about road trips w/ an infant. Next, let’s convert air time into drive time and then into fussy time. 1 minute of airtime = 120 minutes of drive time= 240 minutes of fussy time. In other words, travel via jet plane is exponentially worse than any event experienced on terra firma. The funny thing about the whole situation is LB is merely expressing what the rest of us are thinking in an airplane- the seats, too small. The trip/taxi/wait time, too long. The service- let’s just say that their drink cups are too big to serve as a tip jar.

You see, LB is really exemplifying her name- liberty bell. She is free, she is independent and when pressed too hard, she is likely to crack. Combine that with 2 lost nap times over the course of 8 hours of travel time…Using the words of Lefty from Mulberry Street “Forgetta Bout It”

The only tricks that worked (if only for a moment):
1. Snacks- feeding is an excellent distraction. Funny how that works even for adults.
2. IPad- hands down the number 1 asset for any parent. Tip- downloading movies instead of streaming via wifi. Thank god Apple doesn’t charge us what we would be willing to pay for that big friendly dinosaur.
3. The passengers behind you- age does not matter. Everyone loves the peek a boo game. Everyone.
4. The restroom- Mirrors on opposite walls creates a reflection abyss. LB couldn’t figure it out, so she just took a nap.
5. Crayons and a blank paper- LB drew a masterpiece that I had to share. Amazing how she captured the moments of pure bliss in my face and rays of sunshine beaming from my head.

Next Blog- The Jersey Shore (LB riding waves)

Squirrel?

Whisper this word and Lux heads straight for the window. And like a little duckling following her Mom, LB joins the action.

Chillaxin

Worn out from a long day of shopping at the mall. Sometimes I just need to kick my legs up and chew on my giraffe. Because that’s what I do.

Family

Family is a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, or co-residence. Throw the word vacation behind it and you realize why Mom and Dad always made such a big deal about the experience.

In July, our party of 3 added several items to the first time list. Beginning with the first family road trip (pause for side bar)-

Side bar- this road trip encompassed 1900 miles of travel. Interstate 10 was the route and the family SUV was our vessel. We found a midway stop at the Embassy Suites, Baton Rouge to rest the weary. Along the way there were laughs, there were cries, there were moments when we cursed the traffic, and there were times where we imagined LB’s first words would come out “are we there yet?”

Back to the story- 7 days of enjoying the Florida sun helped us come to the following realizations:
1. Vacations are never long enough. There were at least a dozen conversations that considered ways to relocate to somewhere with sand and palm trees. With each conversation ending after someone said- “do you want LB saying (with a strong southern accent) – Paww, is it time fer supper?”
2. When you have children, vacations are all about them. Gone are the days where we would sip libations till 4am and sleep till noon. Gone.
3. Vacations increase peril (excuse the insurance terminology). But it is the truth; more fun+ more people = trouble.
4. Portable DVD players will buy you an extra 15 minutes of travel time per hour. Everyone should have one. Or two.
5. Grocery shopping on the first Saturday of vacation is a spectacle. I don’t know if it is the $400 average bill, or the bumper carts by the checkout line, or the abundance of sugary snacks in every ones carts, or how all guys can be found stationed the beer aisle. They could turn this event into a movie. And for the record, I did not lose my shopping cart. Someone took it.
6. If the grocery store is main event, the ice cream parlor is the after party. Hard to say who enjoys this most- the hopped up parents or the over sugared kids. Regardless, it is all about finding that secret flavor that gives street cred for the rest of the trip. In our case, it was birthday cake flavored ice cream…A color explosion on a cone!

All in all, Sea Side delivered. LB enjoyed her first swim in the ocean (Gulf), buried her feet in the sand and rocked her first bikini. With some in-between time in/by the pool, this was a stimulating trip for the little one. Can’t wait for the next trip in Jersey.

The Girls of Florida

Sea Side Edition - Summer 2011

Name: LB
Sign: Scorpio
Favorite Movie: Baby Beethoven
Favorite Actor/Actress: Anyone that is animated
Likes: Anything with fur, Swimming in the pool, Dancing like no one is watching, Watching the Phillies
Dislikes: Bedtime, Leaving vacation, Being Alone

A note from the author- This might be the first and last time that I didn't object the idea of LB trolling the beaches in a bikini. The eyes were already wondering.

Home button

I wonder if Steve Job's considered LB as a target demographic when developing the Iphone 4...So easy a caveman could do it. This is LB enjoying some youtube.com time, toggling between baby einstein and stevie wonder on sesame street- Very superstitious, the writing's on the wall!!!

This picture is heading to Apple. They need to see this.

The look

Similar to a mourning dove waking up the family, Leighton sings out a few notes every AM to press the start button on a day of activity. And like Pavlov's dogs, our ears perk up and we respond with a bottle and smile (so long as the tune starts after 7am). As we approach her room, the white noise of the sound machine increases. I reach for the door knob and make a slow turn to ensure a silent entrance. The door opens and there she is giving us a long hard look, almost as if she knew the exact moment we were coming through the door.

This is the best part of my day.

Do you like my dress?

LB and Lux

Too good not to share.

Ella and Her Kitchen

It started about a year ago with a trip to baby’s r us. I left that place with more questions than answers. Pampers vs. Huggies? Chicco vs. Graco? Dr. Brown vs. Dr. Ashley? Well, I’d like to think that we have the basics figured out. And for the record, Pampers is king. I’m not just talking about the dryness protection…That’s a given. It’s the scent, the softness, and the design - far superior to even Costco’s best (sorry Dad). Even Elmo gives his affirmation with an enthusiastic “thumbs up” on every Pampers diaper. Who can argue with Elmo? He has been winning the hearts and minds of kids since 1972.

Our next challenge- the baby food aisle. When Ashley calls in this order, you’d think we were signaling Seal Team 6. “Honey- I need a level 2, color Blue as in Bravo- Peas and Carrots; I repeat Peas and Carrots.” You have to hand it to the baby food makers- they didn’t settle on the vegetable solo shot…They got creative. For breakfast- LB had butternut squash, carrots, apples and prunes- all in one. Believe it; this is too good to make up. For lunch- sweet potatoes, pumpkin, apples and blueberries. And Dinner- Broccoli, Pears and Peas. You’d think that it would be nasty, but I tried the combo platter and was pleasantly surprised. I considered writing Ella to ask for adult sized portions. Million dollar idea alert! Pass the spatula.

7 and change

Too much time has passed, time for another status update.

According to the books (at 7 mo and 2 weeks)-

By now, you may have already told your baby that the telephone is not a toy, or that rattles are not for throwing, or that her sister's hair is not for pulling. At this age your baby may begin testing your authority by refusing to follow your simple directions. She's not really being disobedient or willful — just curious.

According to LB-

Following Directions…What directions? You tell me to eat- I eat. You tell me to sleep- I sleep. You tell me its time to poop- I do what I can because I know if I don’t, you stick a crayon up my butt! Other than that, I play.

According to the books-

Your baby's beginning to understand how objects relate to one another in three-dimensional space. She may be able to sort toys, grouping smaller items by size. Babies instinctively combine objects by stacking them and, as they get older, trying to fit them inside one another.

According to LB-

Hmmmm. How do objects relate. Let’s see. When Lux gets close, I try and grab her. When I hear family, I smile. When anyone claps their hands, I know they want to play with me.

We found the acorn

I get it…Babies should be roaming the land in their parents pouch. They should get into adventures every day, adapt to their new surroundings and learn from things that aren’t branded Fisher Price. Even more so, the television should never be used as a stimulus. If we take a look at LB’s schedule, you would see a light dose of TV (during shower time mostly) and a medium dose of learning material compliments of Baby Einstein. Poetry, music, sports and movie trivia all assist w/ her development – thanks to Mom, Dad and an IPad. Motor skills are frequently addressed via mat time and dance party – all Mom there.

Here’s the thing though- if LB could talk, she would say with no reserve that her two most favorite things are watching Lux chase the water stream from the garden hose (makes her burst into laughter) and playing hide and seek. Not only the traditional hide and seek when we disappear and reappear in a different spot, but the show called hide and seek. Pretty simple game acted out by two squirrels. One hides and acorn and the other seeks it out…Assisted only by the crowd which claps when the seeking squirrel is nearby. And then comes the magical jingle--- We found the acorn, we found it over here! We found the acorn after looking everywhere. We found it, we found it, so let’s all clap and cheer….dooodle la do doo do do YAHOO! We can make LB laugh on command by singing just a few notes of the song.

We found the acorn and a garden hose. That’s how we spell fun these days.

Back to the Doctors Office

6 month checkup time for Liberty Belle…Which is essentially the same deal as the 3 month checkup. Ash and I go through our normal progressions, making bets on the weight and length. Usually my guess is within 1 pound of the actual which makes me pretty proud but not confident enough to join the circus and host the guess my age and weight stand.

Starting with the tale of the tape-
Height - 26 1/4 inches
Weight – 17.5lbs
Reach – 8 inches when a bottle is present
This puts our little belle at the 65th percentile for height/weight.

Next, the visit from the doc…I swear he is checking out the parents just as much as he is checking on the baby. We have developed a decent rapport with the guy and he acts genuinely concerned for his patients well being, evidenced by the hugs and kisses he gives LB. It’s not creepy, I promise.
Anyway, he gives the normal speech about vegetables, juice and child obesity. Doc gives a verbal “high five” when he hears about Chef Ashley’s Gourmet Vegetable recipes (Carrots a la king and Beans Beans the magical fruit).

Now on to Nurse Dexter. This is the part when Ash fades to the back and I assume the lead role. Except this time we received what might be the best gift in 6 months- A combo vaccination, or what I like to call the 3 in 1. Instead of 4 daggers, there were only 2. Well that is about the time LB realizes we aren’t playing peek a boo, so the delivery wasn’t even a problem. Happy days ahead.

Happy Easter!

Face to Face

Lux –This is my room, but now my room has your name everywhere.
LB – This is my room. As evidenced by my name on the wall.
Lux –I see you have your own bed.
LB- This is true. I also have my own chew toys that help me sleep.
Lux- I still sleep in Mom and Dad’s bed. It is nice. They have very soft sheets.
Lux- I notice that you are enjoying your breakfast in my bed.
LB- I can’t choose my restaurant, it chooses me.
Lux- I tried a few drops of that powdered milk shake. It lacks flavor.
LB- Limited menu, what can I say. The choices are milk and cereal.
Lux- I can honestly say, I know what you mean.
Lux- Try carrots, they have color and flavor.
LB- I see a new contraption in the kitchen. I think it makes carrots.
Lux- I thought that was something for me, but you are probably right.
Lux- Like every email, letter and phone call…It’s all about you.
Lux- I am lucky to get a head scratch these days. You get baths and warm towels for your butt.
LB- Stop by anytime, I will scratch your head.
LB- And pinch your nose.
LB- And pull your hair.
LB- Because you make me laugh.


P.S. There has been some litter in the comments section. Please do not post anonymous comments, they will be deleted. Remember, this is for LB- she needs to know who to thank 10 years from now.
Thanks for reading.

#1 Fan

She knew when to cheer and when to boo. When it was time to pull the starting pitcher, she did not hesitate. And when the Philly Phanatic started dancing, she had all the right moves to compliment the worlds best mascot. She is your number 1 Philly’s fan. Liberty Belle.

Plugged

LB has not gone #2 in 5 days. We reached out to several sources and came up with the following solutions:
Belly Massage
Prune Juice
Reading the book “Where’s the Poop” to LB
Singing songs about #2
Thermometer Stimulus
Glycerin Crayon (aka Suppository)
Highlighting the successful careers of players that wore #2 (Jeter, Leetch, Moses Malone and the Secretariat)

Before passing judgment about the reading and singing, you should note the ceremonial rain dances performed by Native American tribes and remember how effective they were at living off the land.

End result – A 6:49pm, four alarm stinker. Mission accomplished.

The Trade

Rarely does one find an even swap where both parties feel like they gained. But in this house everyone is a winner.

The deal - 162 Phillies games (Direct TV package) for a 1 year subscription to the following magazines:
Lucky, Oprah, People, US, Rolling Stone, Real Simple and In Style.

The fine print - No Atlanta Braves shirts for LB. No complaining about the extra inning games. LB will grow up knowing every player on the Philadelphia team. And she will practice baseball just in case the Philly ball girl job is accepting applicants.

A day in the life

According to John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Woke up, fell out of bed,
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,
And looking up I noticed I was late.
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in second splat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke,
and Somebody spoke and I went into a dream

According to LB
Woke up, picked out of bed,
He pulled my wet clothes over my head.
Found my way to the mat that sings my song
And looking up I notice a furry dog…(cue dog panting sound)
Found my bottle and sucked the nip,
Drank 5 ounces and lost 1 on the bib.
Made my way to the swing to get some sleep
Turned on the radio, moved my feet to the beat.
Ahhhhhhhh, laaaa laaaa laa la.

Date Night

It’s been a while. A long while. For this evening, we traded 2 feedings, 4 burpings, a couple soiled diapers and some paddy cake for a singer/songwriter prancing around in leather pants. Yes it was a blast to the past (circa 1988) to jam out with none other than Jon Bon Jovi. Thanks again to Grandpa for assuming the parenting duties for the night. His homework list was about 20 activities deep, starting with measuring out the bottle, finishing with tying the straight jacket, aka swaddle. I told him to use rope if she started to break lose; Ash did not find this funny. We did make it out of the house on time, no tearful goodbye's. No pressing hands against the window to symbolize unity while apart. Just a "see you in 5 hours".

Enter concert. The loud music was consuming, but in this moment we realized that even a trip downtown to hear Bad Medicine cannot fully relieve you of parenting feelings. LB is always on your mind no matter how loud “Tommy used to work on the docks…Union's been on strike, he's down on his luck, It's tough…so tough” rings through the arena. So even though we can look forward to these mini vacations, it never feels truly fulfilling when you are missing a key ingredient in your entrée.

What once was lost now is found

With a 2 week trip to Atlanta (Just Mom and LB) now behind us, the foursome has been reunited. I know what you are saying- how nice it would be to have 2 weeks of me time. Well not me. The nice wore off after one night of good sleep. Quiet filled the house and I found myself playing peek-a-boo w/ Lux, only she wasn’t reacting like her roommate.

I was pleasantly surprised to see a pocketful of new tricks or developments as the books would say. Starting with finding her singing voice (see video). I find myself judging the pitch changes à la Simon, Paula and Randy (sorry, I can’t acknowledge the new judges- they are awful). Toe touching has become a regular exercise, as is rolling over in both directions.

So the voice and sound monitor is back with full volume- Which means more tender sleep, more false alarms and more stinky diapers. The good life has returned.

Schedule Update

Donald Trump likes doing this in his books, thought I would give it a try. This post is more for my records. I wish I had done this back in November to compare.

7:17am – Saturday morning wake up- LB sounds the alarm. I mean the baby monitor decided to amplify those early morning whimpers.
7:20am- Dave washes hands, brushes teeth, checks on LB. The blackout shades are doing a good job, but the hint of light seems to be our local rooster.
7:21am-Dave frees LB from the grasp of her straight jacket…I mean swaddle. Like an astronaut, LB reaches for the sky!
7:22am- Time to check the sewer. I feel some weight in this diaper. Nice, clear sewage. This damage rates 2 stars (wipes) on the clean-up meter.
7:25am- BOOB TIME! LB’s face lights up like the 4th of Juuuuuuuuly (for you Cheryl). Slurp Slurp, Gulp Gulp.
8:00am – Dance party begins. DJ Dave is spinning records today- We’ve got some Red Hot Chili Peppers and Jay Z on tap.
8:30am- Dance party is over, the puppet show begins. Cue teddy bear “yes Jesus loves me, because the bible tells me so…”
9am- Nap time. No fussin, no fightin…to the swing we go. White noise is cranking. Out in seconds.
10am- Wake up, touch the sky and sewage check #2. Still clear. Even less weight, this is 1 star (wipe) damage. In guy terms- this was an “ace”.
10:30am- Time to climb Mt Boob again. LB is king of the mountain.
11:00am- Entertainment again. This house is part trough, part theater. Mom is acting out some Spanish comedy. Adios!
Noon- Fussy period and a diaper check…We have a stage 5 dump. This was a 4 wiper. Plus an extra back wash due to overflow. We cleaned the deck and put this girl back in the swing. White noise on, LB out.
2pm- Up again -right before feeding. Quick 1 star cleaning and we are on the bottle. Load up about 7oz of the powdered breast milk and we are off.
2:30- Need to work the gas out. This technique isn’t as easy as the books describe. You need a gentle touch, some good rhythm and patience.
3pm- Play time again, working in some channel 293 magic. For those of you w/ direct tv, channel 293 is devoted to the infant. It is Baby Einstein on steroids.
3:30pm- Exercise in the jumperoo! If she doesn’t become a linguist, she’ll be a gymnast.
4pm- Back to bed. If only we were all this lucky.
5pm- From Bed to Boob.
6pm- Begin fussy time. No puppet, movie, comedy can save us. We are at LB’s mercy.
8pm- Final feeding and bed time. Once it hits your lips, it's so good! (Frank the Tank).

Reservations for 2 please

Good afternoon, thanks for calling, How can I help you?
Hello- May I have dinner reservations for 2 please.
What time would you like to come in sir?
How about 5pm?
Sir we don’t start serving dinner till 6pm?
But fussy time is between 6-8pm.
Excuse me sir?
Fussy time. Do you have something on the menu for fussy time? Perhaps a chef special?
Click. Dial tone.


(30 minutes later) Welcome to Chick-Fil-A, can I take your order?
Yes you can! Spicy Chicken for Everyone!!!

The Awakening

Lines from one of our favorite movies:
Jack Campbell- HEY!!!
Kate Campbell- What????
Jack- That baby’s crying
Kate- And…
Kate- don’t give me that look Jack; you know it’s your day
Kate- and try and get the kids to school on time

Lines from Our House- The Awakening, 3am
LB- waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
LB (echoing in the baby monitor) - WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Dave- Ash….Hey Ash
Dave- I think I hear the baby crying
LB- (echoing in the baby monitor) - WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WAAAAAAAAAA!
Dave- Yes, that sounds like a baby crying
Dave- sarcastically I wonder if she is awake.
Ash- No response
Dave- I wonder if she is hungry
Dave- Or thirsty
Dave- Maybe she has a brown diaper?
Dave- or the diaper is saturated?
Dave- maybe she climbed out of the crib.
Dave- Ash!!!
Ash- Looks at the video monitor, realizes baby needs pacifier.
Ash- Give her the pacifier.
Dave- Something is wrong- you should check.
Ash- leaves the bedroom, returns 1 minute later
Dave- with one eye open, Was she awake? I thought I heard crying.

To Dave and Ashley 2013, from Dave and Ashley 2011

I sense that you are considering another family expansion. Evidently the Dad, Mom, LB and Lux sandwich needs another layer of meat. Well the sandwich of the past fully supports the hoagie of the future. But in case your memory hasn’t been as reliable due to the mesmerizing affect of cartoon and Baby Einstein overload, here are some recommendations:

1. Technology isn’t always a good thing. The baby motion sensor pad which is supposed to give you peace of mind tends to have false alarms. That sound will turn your house into the 100yd dash and right now Ashley is faster than Dave. Just something to consider.
2. Two adults, 1 LB and 1 Lux are already too much for the bed. Turn LB into a toddler while adding another baby could spell disaster. I have already heard of a California King sized bed- hopefully in 2013 there will be a Texas King. Because everything is bigger in Texas.
3. Swings, Bumbo seats, Car rides and rap music are your allies. Tummy time is challenging in the beginning but pays off later. Country music, dog barks and gas are your enemies. So choose your friends wisely.
4. If you see a bare butt, it can see you. Except you have a huge target on your head and hands. Remember the fundamentals – sometimes the best offense is a good defense. “Remember the Alamo”.
5. Look for a tag before putting the shirt on. Direction for girls clothing is not as intuitive. Yes, that was me who put LB’s shirt on backwards. But I did get the beanie right…Love that lamb!

Milestones

3 month milestones
Baby should definitely be able to laugh out loud by now. Check. More of a contagious smile with a subtle chuckle.

Your 3-month-old baby's weight has continued to rise, even if she hasn't gotten a whole lot taller. Check on both. LB has gained 5lbs and grown 5 inches.

Babies are at their chubbiest (think Michelin man). Check. These cheeks are like elevator buttons for kids. I can’t walk by without pushing them and smiling.

Your little one knows her name now. Ummm…Testing 1-2-3. Lux is responding to our high octave name calling. LB responds to anything. To her….Goochie goochie goo might be her name. Homework item #1.

During tummy time she might be able to prop herself up on her elbows and observe the world in front of her, even with no head bobbles. Check. See above.

Shots! Shots! Shots!

Normally this would be the bird call to rally up the troops, line up the glasses and put down the bourbon. But this word has taken on new form after last week.

We roll up to the Pediatricians office, all smiles for our 2 month check. Similar to the guy at the state fair who guesses your age and weight, Ashley and I make similar bets on LB’s lbs prior to hitting the scale. Not to brag, but I was within a couple ounces. What can I say; I used to measure out Roast Beef sandwiches at Arby’s between 3-5 ounces. I have the gift of gauge.

Doctor gives another positive review- loving this guy. Then he quickly passes the baby to the nurse. I captured the following dialogue:
Dave: Dr. Benbow, where are you going?
Doctor: I went to school an extra 8 years so I didn’t have to stay around for this part.
Dave: OK, send in Nurse Ratchet.
(Nurse Ratchet enters)
Dave: I hear you are equally gentle as you are fast.
Nurse (pulling out an arsenal of syringes, think Dexter pulling out his knives): I practice every day.
Dave: So you are a Jedi master? Excellent. Please use your Jedi mind trick to make LB happy as you jab her.
Nurse (obviously not a Star Wars fan): please hold her down.
LB (after 1st shot) – Hmmmmm. This doesn’t feel like my normal checkup
LB (after 2nd shot) – Something bit me on the leg
LB (after 3rd shot) – OK, I am going to scream because there is a bee in my pants
LB (after 4th shot) – Holy *&%$#! There are two bees, one on each leg.
LB (after 5th shot) – I thought Bee’s can only sting once!
The rest was history and recovery was quick…Except for the schedule changes, sporadic eating and weird nightmares. Can’t wait for the 4 month mark.