Hide and go seek…

Feels like the blog status as of late.  What to recap…LB has entered the terrible 2’s. Like a light switch that turned on immediately after a smashing birthday party (complete with a balloon lady, bubble machine and 15 of her closest friends), this new dimension of brightness highlights so many changes

1.     Her vocabulary has been enhanced so that any casual observer understands likes/dislikes.  The emphatic “No” is without a doubt the word of the day/week/month.  Sometimes we try and trick her to see if she really recognizes the implications of her choice (LB- do you want broccoli…No.  How about some water…No.  Crackers…Crackers?  Please.  Please.) 

Yep, she has us pegged.

2.     Continuing the point about crackers- If LB designed her perfect menu, it would be yogurt, crackers, cheese, milk and water.  Vegetables are not looking too good.  Pizza has an 80% success rate.  Cereal is a making a comeback (mini wheat’s and cheerios).  Pinto and Borracho beans are dying a slow death.   

3.    Activities include anything with running, climbing, dancing and building. 

4.     Music preference- Let’s see.  Top 3 include Back in time (Pit Bull), Whistle song (Flo Rida), and Feliz Navidad (Sesame Street Christmas).  What can I say?  Diverse and Fabulous!

Sorry, couldn't resist showing off the Tday center piece.

Singin' in the rain

(Cue Gene Kelly)

I'm singing in the rain; Just singing in the rain, What a glorious feelin'.
I'm happy again, I'm laughing at clouds, So dark up above, The sun's in my heart, And I'm ready for love.
Let the stormy clouds chase, Everyone from the place, Come on with the rain, I've a smile on my face.
I walk down the lane, With a happy refrain…
Just singin', Singin' in the rain!

The ride home

C'mon. It couldn't be worse.
US Airways- I see why you are in bankruptcy.

It all started w/ the boarding attendant changing Ashley’s seat assignment because the flight is 1/2 full and we could locate in the back hoping to disturb less.  We board and realizing the noise machine was about to enter the US Airways’ flight attendant break room, she quickly send us back to our original seat.  Sorry to get in the way of your sky mall magazine and stories of serving soda in 2 ounce cups.  My mouthwash cup holds more fluid than your paltry hamster feeder.

Two hours later…

Ash- no it can't be another 2 hours.  Your time calculation is not right.  We change time zones remember?
Dave- (thinking that this is one of those times that the truth is not my ally) - Yeah you are right; we are almost there.

Surrounding passengers...no sense of humor or understanding.  I got more evil looks than the meter maid.    And LB behaved like a world champion traveler.  I guess I'm just sensitive.  Ash is rubbing off on me.

The Rides

To help set the stage for these images, let's get a few particulars out of the way...
1) The size requirement for every ride was nearly double our little munchkin.  And so begins the dreaded coin flip between parents to accompany LB on each ride.  Thank goodness the tea cups and spinning machines were out of order, allegedly.

2) The workers at Castaway Cove do not like their job.  At all. One word comes to mind- loathe.
3) 1/3 of the parents do not appear to be equipped to be spending this kind of money on their kids.
4) Regarding the ill equipped 1/3…A persona comes to mind.  50% Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad and 50% Pauly D from The Jersey Shore.

Cape May Zoo

Mom Mom- Dave and Ash, why don't we go to the zoo today instead of the beach?

Ash- Sounds like a great idea.  LB has never been to a zoo. (Doing her best impression of the kid from Jerry McGuire) "Let’s go to the zoo!"

OK, that was really me making that last comment. 

Dave- come to think of it, she has never seen another animal besides her dog, the neighborhood cat "Tom" and the fish and lobster available for purchase at the market.  Heck yeah, let's roll. 

40 minutes and 4 goat licks later

Dave- wow. LB really likes the otters. 

Ash- personality plays.

Dave- Up close and personal wins.  These guys are putting on a show just a few inches away from her nose. 

Ash- good luck getting her to move to the next station

Dave-(thinking)

Dave- lb, let's go see Tom. 

Lb- standing in front of the bobcat cage..."cat?" "wow!"

In the end, the biggest hits were the snow leopards (very playful), the giraffes (great smiles) and the otters.  Season pass to the local zoo/sea world awaits.

The Boardwalk

The idea was to give LB a taste of Ocean City.  Specifically the Mack and Manco pizza (I refuse to refer to its new name), and Kohr's brothers custard.  I feel like my childhood orbited around these pillars of goodness, so why not extend the love, right?

Walking/running up the 11th street ramp to this section of delicious, I couldn't help but notice the Jersey shore vibe.  How could I forget the vibe!  The boardwalk is a living breathing soundtrack.  And wouldn't you know it- LB encountered her favorite rhymes and rhythms during her afternoon strolls.  What do you do when your 23 month old catches the beat?  To quote the audience "you sit back and clap" cause normally this entertainment comes with a price for admission.  Bravo LB...Daddy proud.

The Beach

Fearless.  That is our little girl.  Think of the Atlantic Ocean as row of hungry linebackers and LB was LeSean McCoy-ducking and diving the defense in pursuit of the end zone.  When the adventure did finally stop, the creativity began.  I was amazed at how quickly she took to playing in the sand.  In our previous beach trips she expressed no interest in sand creations or being sandy. This time around, Pop pop decided to break out the shovels and buckets- and game on.  The beach became her canvas and the seashells were the paint.  Once we graduated into the sandcastles on the final day, you could literally see her imagination at work- meticulously using sea grass as the fortress flags and the mini clams as the castle ornaments.  Daddy proud.


The beach days were divided into three parts-
The ocean- tracking the waves in and out, swallowing the salt water, running from Mom Mom and Pop Pop.

The sand- even my kite flying could not distract her from the artwork.

The bubbles- This is where grandparents never cease to surprise- the obscure bubble maker gun that ran through a gallon of soapy solution in 3 days.  Genius.

Vacation part 4 of 4. So much activity.

Jersey shore.  Sugary snacks.  Jukebox. The Golia family.
With their powers combined, LB was inundated with activity and extended playtime.  Except she just didn't know where to turn first.  One morning she was crashing into the waves of the Atlantic with pop pop.  The next, she was face to face with a snow leopard and otter.  If I were to title the book of LBs life over Jersey vacation, it would be "first times = good times".

Thinking back on the highlights of the trip, I could probably write a blog on each event.  So let's do that.  The audience deserves it.  LB likes the attention.  And we have the footage to compliment each story with raw, unfiltered emotion.  Let’s start this with a bang- but first an offer of love and thanks for our hosts and participants.  Mom Dad Yvonne Tim- To quote LB  "wooooowwwww!" and "again". 

Vacation part 3. Traveling.

You can feel their eyes looking at you.  You hear their thoughts, their wishes, and their prayers.  It sums up to one thing- please don't let me sit next to that kid for a 4 hour flight.  Please.  To the everyday passenger, the sounds of a 23 month old child at 6:45am is not just background noise, it's an annoyance peppered with provocation.  Like a phone ringing in the movie theater, but worse.  This ring has no boundary or volume control.  It is one long "noooo" with several variations in pitch and tempo. 

Boarding 1st class is announced. Hmmm.  Thought they put the kids on first?  Now boarding priority seating.  Hmmm.  New game plan-I take the carry-on, iPads, car seat.  Leaving Ashley and lb to board last.  Figured that would be more considerate.  I board, stow away the baggage and buckle in the car seat.  A wave of paranoia sweeps though me- the car seat on top of the airplane seat puts lb's fiery footwork on the back of the passenger in front.  Poor 13f- this guy pulled the losing ticket for the SAT to PHL flight.  Ashley and lb finally board, we strap her in rather easily.  She quickly begins pointing out every known object in her sight (think I-spy) looking for confirmation in her assessment.  This is immediately followed by a flurry of apologies (from yours truly) to every surrounding passenger.  Much to my surprise, the surrounding passengers are quite forgiving.  Seems like everyone has their flying with a kid story. 

Before we take off, lb starts with the kicking.  I see the passenger eyeing the exit seat in front of him.  He politely asks the attendant to move up.  She responds that they are premium seats and not available.  The disappointment in this poor guy was showing on his sleeve.  I jump in and offer to pay for the seat.  Actually, I started out with can I move the car seat to under the plane so she can't Pele the seat in front.  She said no…the person has to complain before they can move.  Time out.  Really?  Since when has treatment come before prevention?  Even dating back to the days of junior high, the best birth control is/ was abstinence. Yet this airline is preaching adoption.  I don't get it.  After a few timely screams from LB, our attendant got the point and moved the gentleman.  The rest of the flight was a tag team/ musical chairs.  If anyone was filming us from behind, the resulting comedy would have featured an assortment of tools.  From goldfish, to rice cakes, to a Nutragrain bar.  We had it and we fed our little chick.

Then came the IPad and puzzles and Mickey Mouse shows.  What makes this especially enjoyable for me is I have a wife that hates flying.  Total anxiety and out of body experience my bride.  So compound that anxiety with our little noise machine and you get rash behavior.  I'll leave it at that to preserve the rest of my vacation (and marriage).    By the end of the flight, I totaled 4 counts of Ashley asked how long it would be before she could enjoy a spirit of some sort.  Soon honey, soon.  It is these particular moments that I wish I could playback every time I come home from a 14 hour work day and need a beer. Not want, need.  Honey, I can honestly say I know how you are feeling.  In the meantime, why don't you grab one of lb's pacifiers?  Kidding, only kidding. 

One more thing about the flight-there were three occurrences of surrounding passengers offering up stories (but I interpret as suggestions) about what to do with toddlers on a flight.  I even heard the granny tell the whiskey in the milk story.  Except her version did not end with a sleeping child, it ended with granny ordering a couple whiskey milks for herself.  “Loopy” was the word she used.  “Loopy”.  I thought her glasses were loopy.  They were thicker than my Iphone   

There is but one word that could encapsulate the start of this trip-Fun tastic. 

Schoooooool

Well technically it’s a Mother’s Day out program hosted at the local church, every Tuesday and Thursday.  LB is well positioned in the 18-24 month cohort- classroom setting, 8:30-2:30 (with nap time), 10 kids and 2 teachers.  Report cards are available every day and the feedback highlights demeanor (happy, sad, or please don’t hesitate to leave your kid at home) and eating/sleeping/potty performance.  If you are lucky, you receive anecdotal comments from the teacher like “Leighton waited for her turn to draw, and quickly said thank you after receiving the crayons.”  That’s my girl!

The biggest surprise for me was the lunchbox and backpack competition.  Well maybe it isn't a competition, but who wants to risk future self confidence issues for the kid because a parent didn't want to take a chance.  You can’t be like every other parent sending their kid to school w/ a Dora backpack and lunchbox…Not for our little girl.  No way.  We had to embrace our MarioKart roots and equip LB with a spiked Koopa Troopa shell.  And a lunchbox that shaped like a cow head, to which LB appropriately screams –MOOOOOOOOOOO! 

Call Me...Maybe?

LB decided to join the other youtube.com hopefuls with her twist on the Carly Rae single.  What you can’t see in the video is her demand to repeat the track, indefinitely.  I can’t explain why she is so attached to the song…San Antonio radio is probably to blame.  I was really hoping that she would throw some moves to David Guetta…I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose- fire away, fire away.  Ricochet, you take your aim- fire away, fire away.  You shoot me down, but I won't fall- I am titanium.  You shoot me down, but I won't fall- I am titanium!!!  Boom Boom Boom Boom, Bomp Bomp Bomp Bomp. 

Maybe it’s too early for her to enjoy some digital beats.  Soon.  

Vacation 2012 (Part 2 of 4)

Dave- Ash! I need material for the 2nd leg of the July trip.  Do you know what would be fun?

Ash- Another vacation?  Moving back to Atl?

Dave- All good ideas, but I was hoping to get you behind the keyboard this time to reflect on all the tales of playing in the garden with LB, wave runner in the lake, trips to Dick's Sporting goods, etc. 

Ash- Yeah.  No. 

Dave- Someday LB will read about these adventures and wonder what happened to mommy’s words and point of view. 

Ash- Mommy’s words usually find me on the losing end of scrabble.

Ash- And my point of view is baked into her crust from sunrise to sunset.

Dave- Well how do you explain her constant need to be entertained?  Where does that come from?

Ash- Is that a rhetorical question?

10 minutes later...
Ash- Check your email, I sent you some shots for the blog.  My pictures are worth a thousand words.
Dave- Touche.

Vacation 2012 (Part 1 of 4)

LB= trooper.  Gone are the days of stopping every hour to take a break.  Hello to the days of traveling w/ Portable DVD players and an infinite supply of food (Goldfish and Fried Fruit mostly) and beverage (M-I-L-K).  Bottom Line- 1000 miles in 2 days, with 3 total breaks, one of which was the hotel /sleeping quarters in Covington, LA.  Side note- Homewood suites by Hilton- very functional for families. Anyways- while we can celebrate the ease of planning trips without the consideration of a school calendar, any benefit claims would be offset by the added payload of packing for a toddler.  Holy cow.  Is that my trunk?  I thought I only packed a backpack.  Really?  Really.  

As for the vacation…Everything previously mentioned about Rosemary 2011 still applies today.  Leighton still loves the water and the added attention.  The weather did not factor into the vacation at all…Except when we committed our most significant parenting error to date (adult sun block lotion should not be applied to a baby face.  Babies rub their face and eyes- it’s inevitable.  And lotion stings)

For me, the true pleasure was seeing LB relate/play with other kids, specifically Anna and Riley.  Todd/Megs- thanks for renting us your little girls for the entire vacation.  Don’t know it would have been as enjoyable without seeing a perfectly stacked JENGA board terrorized by a 20 month old every day.      

Who is king of the world?

I am!  With my pretend phone, my powers are limitless!  

Perhaps the biggest shift in power surprise to me (given my beautiful bride’s commitment to home interior design) is the new door and window treatments.  Every time I find myself bird watching from the breakfast table, I can’t help but notice the recent addition of stickers to every single window.  Except this isn’t your normal ADT or “Save my Pet” warning…Not at all…Instead our windows and doors represent a strong affiliation to our Disney family.  Criticize all you want, but I think LB is on to something.  In a time where your personal standards are often illustrated in signs for a political candidate, religious leader, etc., why not stick out your neck out for a Mickey Mouse or Talking Car?  What is wrong with being an advocate for Fun…and Sharing…and climbing magical beanstalks?   

Cruising…For Bananas

It is our first Father/Daughter tradition.  Every Saturday morning, we wake up around 7am and eat breakfast together (coffee and chewable vitamin’s for me, whole wheat pancakes for LB).   Lux never misses our meal; she is stationed directly below the feeding table eagerly waiting for the next morsel to be dropped or intentionally tossed.  On Saturday’s we let Ashley sleep that extra hour to recharge her Mommy batteries.  After breakfast, we tiptoe out of the house and load up the SUV and head for McDonalds for Brunch (Please hold the criticism, I get it).  Why McDonalds though?  Because they have the most amazing Cinnamon Rolls and LB and I love to share one.  We never grub in the dining room; too much distraction.  Rather, I hop in the back seat and we go to town.  One bite for LB, two bites for Dad.  Wash it down w/ some 1% milk and you have a delicious and non-nutritious meal.  Yum.

 

20 minutes later, we arrive.  Central Market, San Antonio.  The place is Whole Foods on steroids.  The difference is more variety, better service and cheaper.  Every visit starts with a green balloon.  Kids love balloons and LB is no different.  I tie the balloon to the cart so she can always find her happy place.  We start in produce, taking our time to point out every known and pronounceable fruit.  LB will attempt just about anything and she has all the majors down.  I used to put all the food in her hands to help accelerate the learning, but Central Market management did not appreciate this all too much (I always thought you had to lick the object to make the purchase official?).  Anyways, this game makes our shopping cart one of the more popular carts in the market.  The 70-90 year old women eat this up.  They try and join in only to find themselves victims of an occasional grape to the eye.  I keep telling LB that if she continues to assault older people that I will post a sign on her cart that says “beware of baby!” 

By the time we finish our shopping adventure, LB will have consumed several free samples (sometimes we get seconds depending upon temperament), and at least two packets of Ella’s Kitchen (see prior post).  Me, when I am really lucky I clean out my pockets at home and find invites to the local retirement community Bingo night.  Score. 

Planking

Planking (or the Lying Down Game) is an activity consisting of lying down in an unusual or incongruous location. Having a photograph taken of the participant and posted on the Internet is an integral part of the game.

Players compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play.  The term planking refers to mimicking a wooden plank.  Since early 2011, many participants in planking have photographed the activity in unusual locations. Planking can include lying flat on a flat surface, or holding the body flat while it's supported in only some regions, with other parts of the body suspended.

Toddler?

Me- Hey, When does LB will become a toddler?
Ash- She has been a toddler for some time.
Me- Hmmm. Doesn't she have to poop in a toilet to be a toddler?
Ash- What? A toddler is an age range. Starting at one. What did you think?
Me- I thought it was achievement based. A tiered model of some sort.
Ash- What accomplishments did you have in mind?
Me- Heck there should be categories. Motor skills, vocabulary, hygiene, and feeding habits. I am amazed that there isn't an app for this already. Think of a reward system for kids to build their skill and fuel their ambition.
Me- I mean a little motivation never hurt. I always loved treasure hunts. Well maybe that was because of Goonies. The Truffle shuffle and Baby Ruth-Gets me every time. But really. The reward at the end makes you try harder.
Ash- I think lb is already overachieving. And she spirited. You should be happy.
Me- Happy yes. But imagine the possibilities if lb knew there was a water sprinkler or teddy bear at the end of every complete sentence.
Ash- Or successful tooth brushing.
Me- (Thinking...)
Me- (Running into the playroom and bringing back the mini piano). Playing -Dee dee doo doo de. . Bomp. De doo de doo de Deedley de do.
Ash- What is that?
Me- Doogie howser theme song. Doogie howser. That six year old aced his SATs. We've got work to do.

Hours later…
Ash- LB is eating a crayon.
Me- Do you know how the Egyptians built the pyramids. Brick by Brick babe. Brick by brick.

Minefield

Sometimes you are too tired. Sometimes you forget. Sometimes you say you are going to clean up but you never do. Sometimes you restore it back to original condition only to see it look like Middle East warzones moments later. Sometimes you feel bold enough to teach the art of cleaning up. Lately, it feels better to shrug your shoulders and say “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” Poor Ashley. You just can’t teach cleanliness to an 18 month old who pees on the floor and laughs.

Uh oh.

You are cruising the aisles of Costco. Wondering about that first turn into the wine section. You want to conserve your energy (budget) even though it is easy to lose yourself in the Costco vineyards- and even easier to get into tied up in the immortal battle of reds versus whites. On this particular day we had LB guiding the chariot. And like any feisty jockey she was fired up. She has seen what can come from this store. In the past, it has delivered cases of milk, bags of her favorite fruit and a teddy bear bigger than mom. These purchases are handled in fluid motions, almost as if every item was part of a shopping list. Any break in the motion could cause a systematic breakdown in the shopping experience and a 300% increase to the purchase total.

Well this past Sunday, San Antonio brought out some first time Costco shoppers. Several people unfamiliar with the track and even more foreign to the cadence. So you can guess what happened next. The lead chariot veered off track coming out of the wine section. And our little LB persisted on her current path which caused our chariot to clip the lead horse's hoof. And that horse was not happy. Despite the several apologies and ouches, it took a perfectly timed "uh oh" from Lb to break the tension. To which I replied- uh oh is right. Unfortunately, no one else found this to be amusing. We barreled through the rest of the store in record time. Hoping and praying not to cross paths with the personality plus horse. I didn't even stop for my 1.50 hot dog and soda. Which is the cornerstone of any good weekend. I will never forget this day, the first occasion that my own kid had to get me out of trouble. This truly is the start of something wonderful.

Picture above was taken right before an uh oh moment.

Hangry

It’s funny. Every time I leave a Pediatricians office, I learn something new. Not just the essentials (80 percentile height, 50 weight, future baseball star), but the answers to your deepest darkest questions. Questions like- “Our baby won’t eat carrots, but she likes blueberry pancakes…Does that stack well on the food pyramid?” And “We continue to hit our daughter in the head with the refrigerator door- Is that an acceptable exercise?” Perhaps my favorite- “Can rap music be damaging to her speech development?” You just never know what the doc is going to say…you wait for it…It starts with the slow turn of his body, the straightening of his bifocals, then the serious look-“well it depends on the rapper- east coast or west coast?”. Nice Doc. Very Nice.

“No seriously Doc- we need you to shoot us straight. Is it alright to have a hangry baby sometimes?” “Hangry?” He says…“Can’t say I’ve read about that one in the medical books.” “Well Dr. B -it’s when your baby gets so hungry, she’s angry---Hangry.

Sometimes imagery does a better job of telling the story.