Donald Trump likes doing this in his books, thought I would give it a try. This post is more for my records. I wish I had done this back in November to compare.
7:17am – Saturday morning wake up- LB sounds the alarm. I mean the baby monitor decided to amplify those early morning whimpers.
7:20am- Dave washes hands, brushes teeth, checks on LB. The blackout shades are doing a good job, but the hint of light seems to be our local rooster.
7:21am-Dave frees LB from the grasp of her straight jacket…I mean swaddle. Like an astronaut, LB reaches for the sky!
7:22am- Time to check the sewer. I feel some weight in this diaper. Nice, clear sewage. This damage rates 2 stars (wipes) on the clean-up meter.
7:25am- BOOB TIME! LB’s face lights up like the 4th of Juuuuuuuuly (for you Cheryl). Slurp Slurp, Gulp Gulp.
8:00am – Dance party begins. DJ Dave is spinning records today- We’ve got some Red Hot Chili Peppers and Jay Z on tap.
8:30am- Dance party is over, the puppet show begins. Cue teddy bear “yes Jesus loves me, because the bible tells me so…”
9am- Nap time. No fussin, no fightin…to the swing we go. White noise is cranking. Out in seconds.
10am- Wake up, touch the sky and sewage check #2. Still clear. Even less weight, this is 1 star (wipe) damage. In guy terms- this was an “ace”.
10:30am- Time to climb Mt Boob again. LB is king of the mountain.
11:00am- Entertainment again. This house is part trough, part theater. Mom is acting out some Spanish comedy. Adios!
Noon- Fussy period and a diaper check…We have a stage 5 dump. This was a 4 wiper. Plus an extra back wash due to overflow. We cleaned the deck and put this girl back in the swing. White noise on, LB out.
2pm- Up again -right before feeding. Quick 1 star cleaning and we are on the bottle. Load up about 7oz of the powdered breast milk and we are off.
2:30- Need to work the gas out. This technique isn’t as easy as the books describe. You need a gentle touch, some good rhythm and patience.
3pm- Play time again, working in some channel 293 magic. For those of you w/ direct tv, channel 293 is devoted to the infant. It is Baby Einstein on steroids.
3:30pm- Exercise in the jumperoo! If she doesn’t become a linguist, she’ll be a gymnast.
4pm- Back to bed. If only we were all this lucky.
5pm- From Bed to Boob.
6pm- Begin fussy time. No puppet, movie, comedy can save us. We are at LB’s mercy.
8pm- Final feeding and bed time. Once it hits your lips, it's so good! (Frank the Tank).
