Birthing class

3½ hours of life that we will never get back. This was bad. Probably the low point of the pregnancy to date. And it was not due to lack of commitment or focus on our part; this was straight up poor instruction. After sitting through this class, I understood why schools have parent/teacher night- less for progress reporting, more for the parents to check out the talent that will shape their kids intellectual future. I wish we could have seen the coming attractions with this Lord of the Classroom. We would have turned left into Barnes and Knoble instead.

Our only take away from the class was TACO. TACO = Time, Amount, Color and Odor. These details are needed by the Doc to determine how fast you need to drive on the highway if the levee breaks. (Side note to Ashley- another reason why I always need a fast car).

What made it so bad? Simple- we were misled. This class was less instructional and more team building…Except the Doc was thinking tribe and we were thinking tepee. She wanted the entire class of 14 pregnant couples to be best friends. So we spent the first HOUR breaking up into two teams (Male and Female) to debate the pros and cons of pregnancy. This is too good to make up. We had the flip charts and the magic markers (strawberry scented) and we went to town. I wanted to contribute, but most of the guys pro’s were my con’s. Alien stomach movements is just one example of the many disconnects. I am not ashamed to admit…I guess I have seen too many movies

Arts and Crafts

Multiple choice question for our readers:
Ashley designed a barrette holder for Leighton. After several changes to color, ribbon, letter and jewel placement, the final product came out as shown. Which area in the house do we hang this work of art?

A. Leighton's bedroom
B. Leighton's closet
C. Leighton's dresser drawer
D. Lux's bedroom
E. The Garage

Please consider all options carefully before choosing.
P.S. Take note of the curiosity in Lux's eyes. Barrette holder = dinner.

A visit to the Pediatrician

The first visit to our baby’s medical caregiver was another eye opening experience. We walked into a room with about 8 other Prego’s and men in tow. The mood- auspicious, yet tenacious…These girls had lists of questions with answers already in their heads. What should have been an informative, doctor lead discussion turned into a Q&A session riddled with showboating and ignorance.

From the clueless- Can we use baby powder? Can I put my baby on an airplane in 2 weeks? What is the best bottle?

From the experts – Will you accept a temperature from temporal thermometer? Should all baby handlers have TDAP?

From the Golia’s- Like spectators at a zoo- we just sat back and enjoyed the monkeys and the penguins.

The Dr. poured through a list of topics (10+) for over 90 minutes. A few of my favorites- Billing (you will be billed for all services rendered, let us know if you get confused by the volume and severity), Making Appointments (well vs. sick appointments and the difference between the two) and the Pièce de résistance – the Routine Vaccine Schedule…Holy cow there is a shot for everything! Only thing that is missing is a prescription for “I fell off the counter and bumped my head” and “I ate a nickel and pooped a quarter”.

P.S. Our doctor’s name is Benbow (sounds like Bimbo).

Belly Buttons!

Belly buttons are like opinions- everyone has one. And like opinions, all belly buttons are different…Some are large, some are small. There are Innies, Outies, Hairies, Fuzzies, Smellies and Stinkies – heck it will soon be an accessory on the next round of Barbie dolls. But did you know the belly button (clinically known as the umbilicus) is actually a scar. Yep a scar.

In the image above, we have Ashley’s umbilicus. Once an innie, now an outie. Perhaps only a partial outie. Or perhaps the partial pop is a signal that the turkey isn’t fully done? Who would have thought the belly button was nature’s thermometer…the internal indicator that determines when it is time to take the bun out of the oven! More to come on this belly button- we are going to track this bad boy like Santa on Xmas.