Plugged

LB has not gone #2 in 5 days. We reached out to several sources and came up with the following solutions:
Belly Massage
Prune Juice
Reading the book “Where’s the Poop” to LB
Singing songs about #2
Thermometer Stimulus
Glycerin Crayon (aka Suppository)
Highlighting the successful careers of players that wore #2 (Jeter, Leetch, Moses Malone and the Secretariat)

Before passing judgment about the reading and singing, you should note the ceremonial rain dances performed by Native American tribes and remember how effective they were at living off the land.

End result – A 6:49pm, four alarm stinker. Mission accomplished.