2 centimeters

Yep. 2 centimeters. That is what a 9 week old fetus measures. 1 Green Olive! I was tempted to ask for weight, but I didn't think the doctor would take me serious.

Today parenthood became much more real...And to be honest, I don't think it was the sight of the little morsel, or the 180 beat heart rate. It was the doctor saying- Are you ready to see your baby? Just hearing the concept of "baby" and "us" in the same sentence, spoken by the authority in babies- Wow. It was like hearing the manager look down the dugout telling us to take the field for our first big league game. Sure we have watched from the bleachers and shook the players hands- but now we field line drives and hit 88 mph sliders ala Brad Lidge. Different view would be an understatement.

So going back to size and structure- eyes/fingers/toes are present. See image (not ours of course). I couldn't help but wonder if the baby will be blessed with my amazing fingers and toes. Not that Ashley's are bad, its just that mine are better.

Oh- we also have the date- November 2nd. The next post, i will dive into what that means according to the stars (in the sky). I should mention that Daniel Boone was born that day. As was Nelly. I call that good company.

Warning! Caution! Alert!

The warning label...Does anyone really read the warning label? You do if your wife is pregnant. You can not imagine how many items are prohibited for a pregnant woman. Our latest encounter was with a gallon of paint. We are in the process of making our house more presentable, and my wife being the trooper that she is, thought it would be fun to join in on the painting.

At first I thought she wanted to play out some fantasy with the neighborhood painter (me), however upon further review, it was obvious that her intentions were honorable. Back to the labels and paint- VOC's (Volatile Organic Compounds) are bad news bears for ladies with the hump.

Other items/events that warrant a "do not pass go" card in case you were interested:

Roller Coasters - this one breaks our heart.

Drinking- obvious reasons

Raw or Seared Seafood- bacteria and parasites

Rare meat- another game changer for the Golia household

Hot Dogs or deli meat- preservatives, nitrates...I guess the corner stand in Athens will have to wait.

So if you happen to run into my wife, please do not offer her a beer and sushi on the roller coaster. Instead- stick to the merry-go-round and milkshakes. She won't be disappointed, I promise.

The reverse

I am a firm believer in reverse psychology to make things happen. How does this work? Why does it apply to the blog you ask?

Prior to and during any competitive event, I will offer kind words of support/encouragement for my opponent all while beating on you know who. The goal is to position yourself as the loser before it even starts. This is the reverse psychology...instead of telling a person they can't win, you tell them they will win- and this false sense of confidence reeks havoc in all play.

Ashley has been on a name kick for the past 2 weeks, and all talks have been on girls names. Sure I offer the occasional jab for fun, only because I know that a future concession is in order. But what Ashley doesn't realize is that the more we discuss females, the more likely we are to see a Tony or Timmy.

Taking out the trash

Ash stubbed her toe today on the trash. Actually, I think she dropped a trash bag on her foot. I couldn't help but wonder if the pain would transfer to the rain drop sized fetus. Or if she ended up injuring her foot causing a permanent limp, how would that affect our kid? Balance, equilibrium- these are not to be taken lightly. I would hate to think that our child might stumble on simple walking exercises. Or even worse, did we just ruin our opportunity to breed the finely tuned athlete. I admit, the thought of seeing "Golia" on the back of a jersey again makes me smile, and I would hate to cross soccer off the list so early because Ash can't take out the trash.

Wow, you are hungry!

Dear unborn child- your diet today was nothing short of spectacular. Opening the day with some cheese toast, snacking on a fiber one bar and cheese curls. A lean cuisine meal containing Italian food not from Italy. Finishing up with some Sloppy Joe and crystal light. Ice cream is about to come your way even though you didn't ask for it...I love it when my server thinks ahead like that!

Looks like you want to lay down before hitting your next course. The way you manage your landlord is quite amazing. I apologize for the American Idol background music- you deserve better.

And it begins...

Today marks the day when I officially begin recording the future birth of my first child. My wife does not know that I am writing this, though she suspects a diary is in the works. As of today, we are 7 days since the + sign graced our popsicle stick and now we are counting the days. Following extensive research on google (how many days in a typical pregnancy?), I landed on the 270. Is it too much? Hard to say right now. March 25 will give us better insight on the "due date" or what I like to call the "you better have your shit in order" day.

All kidding aside, this blog will remain anonymous until all family members are notified which should happen around day 85ish. At which time, the blog will be revealed...And like the DaVinci code or the falsely accused, the truth shall set us free. For now, I will continue to enjoy the doctors visits in secrecy; I will poke fun at my wifes constant feeling of tiredness; I will enjoy my subsequent laziness due to the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" philosophy of fighting; I will enjoy all late night snacks and ice cream sundaes because why should anyone have to eat alone?

Thank you all for listening, and if my unborn child is reading this - please know that I am thinking of you every day.